I was wiping the counter free of ants the other day, cursing in my brain, when Logan suddenly said, "Mumma, that's sad!" I was caught off guard and responded with something witty and appropriate like, "Huh?!" He slid off the bar chair and came over to me looking like he lost his best friend. "Mumma," he said again sadly, "Do ants cry? Cuz you smooshed all the brothers and friends."
And also, do you have any idea how embarrassing it is to admit all over the internet that I'm thinking about sad little ant Mommas, even though their offspring are taking over my house? More than that, it's even MORE embarrassing to admit that I now whisper, "I'll do it quick. You won't even feel it! Lucky little ants! You're headed to that giant ant hill in the sky!" before I annihilate their entire family.
What can I say? By the time this ant situation is under control, I'll be needing a grief counselor and significant psychological help. I'll be the crazy ant lady who throws ant funerals that all the neighborhood children are scared of. Small children will hide behind their mothers when I go to the market to buy milk. I'll be used as an example of what could happen.. "Do you wanna turn out like the Ant lady? Do your homework and eat your broccoli!"
This is my life, people. This is my life.
Art Linkletter image by mediabistro, via the Google. Ants image by the Google images