Don't quit your day job.

I had the pleasure tonight of reading an article that was originally published in May of 2007 in the Washington Post ( so I'm 3 years late responding to this.... life goes on). I got to read this right after the Facebook discussion I've been promoting and promoting and promoting, most likely to the point of people being ready to block me! The discussion, as you all know very well, was about learning to take a time out from the kids. The article... as you may NOT know, was an Ask Carolyn article. (click link to view... we'll wait for ya. http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/05/22/AR2007052201554.html) 

The person writing in, to paraphrase, wanted to know what SAHMs do all day, and why don't they have time for a call or email? This clueless letter writer proceeded to blast the heck out of SAHMs and say they were either lying about how busy they are or trying to have a "peeing contest" to make themselves seem important to friends who work and really are busy.

But.. that's not the reason I'm telling you all this.I'm weird. Everyone following the blog is aware of this. I like to read the comments after an article. I came across this one, and while I'm fairly certain this is illegal in some way, I'm going to copy and paste it... because it's beautiful! And the end was the thing that delighted me the MOST! This reader of the Post was responding to a reader comment (Tacoma) that mirrored the letter writer. Read on:

Eat2surf wrote:

Wait.. that was a good day.. what about Blowouts (diapers that leak foul, liquid poop).. teaching to eat.. flung spoons full of yogurt.. dealing with a child peeing on the chair in the food court.. stopping the kid from kicking the airline seat.. the sippy cups that shouldn't leak but do.. and the screaming 2-year-old that can't verbalize the the sippy cup isn't giving up any of its contents.. It's stopping the older kid from kicking the younger one... and vice versa.. It's keeping the fish tank from being hit with anything that can be picked up and thrown..

It's all these things and more.. and there is no agenda to tell you what to expect next. Everything you figured out today can be different tomorrow.. or if you expect it to be different it won't be.

... now take all that.. and double it... and tack on constantly cutting up food into non-choking bits.. then you're getting close.

Now tack on stopping the kid from eating too much dirt, sand, rocks, plastic, carpet, wood, asphalt, magazine, electrical cord, poop, other kid's fingers or toes or arms...

Then add teaching a kid to share (which I'm pretty sure Tacoma probably isn't that good at.. Tacoma.. can I borrow your computer for a minute?)..

After all that.. it's a wonder we can still have energy to respond to this type of moronic question.. I'd love to suggest Tacoma take care of some kids.. but what kind of a parent would do that to their kids??

Which reminds me.. add worrying that you can't see your kid at the park even though you know he's just behind the slide.. and worrying that the slide has be booby-trapped with nails or has simply not been maintained.. or that the nice gentleman with the dog is actually a child-molester.. or his dog bites... and to have all these worries without letting the kid pick up on any of them.. to worry gracefully.. to still teach the kid to be open and friendly in a closed and unkind world. .. to teach them to love even those that think they chose their job just to be lazy..

Now take all that.. and double it again and you're getting closer.

And for the record.. I'm a stay-at-home Dad.

Dave

 Dave, you're my hero! Allow me add my two cents to the moron:  Add  more than two siblings who love to fight, a child with special needs, allergies and several medications to be given at different times of the day. Nights where the special needs child doesn't sleep more than one hour, doctors appointments, travel time, therapy sessions, constant supervision to avoid anaphylaxis, seizures, hospital stays, and frantic researching for answers when your child is a medical mystery. Then QUADRUPLE it, and you're almost getting a glimpse into the life of a parent with a special needs child. 

Add constant worry about thriving or failure with therapy and diet, determination to be your child's advocate when no one else will, and crippling stress when professionals won't listen to you because you're just the parent. Toss in the heartache of seeing your child suffer and knowing you don't know how to make it stop. Then quadruple it.

I invite, with a great deal of malicious pleasure, any one who thinks I "relax and enjoy life" by staying home with my children, to email me. Oh, yes... I DO enjoy life. But I can't remember the last time I relaxed. That's okay. It's not my turn. There are things that must be done. But don't for one minute think that I am complaining about my 24/7/365 job. I wouldn't have it any other way. 

This is my child, my sweet little monster, that I would protect and defend until my last dying breath. My mini monsterlette that I have to, and will happily and fiercely continue to, fight for. This is the child that has no voice as far as the powers that be are concerned. And I am HONORED  to be able to be his voice, advocate,  bodyguard,  cheerleader,  caregiver,  nurse,  playmate,  friend, and his frazzledmomma. 'Nuff said.

Eating bonbons and watching Oprah

Today is my birthday. We have a running joke at the Monster House that this is the day I will sit on my Ben and Jerry appreciating butt, eat bonbons and watch Oprah. Since my birthday is now plastered all over facebook, there is no point in trying to pretend it doesn't exist anymore.

Now. You know and I know that in reality what I will be doing is the same thing I do every day. Kids to school, twinnies fed, changed 400 times, played with, laundry washed ( if it's a good day I will tackle the Matterhorn of clean laundry and fold, iron, and hang it. The fam will have a stroke!), and all that jazz. If it is an EXTREMELY good day, I might even get to take a shower!

My gift to myself is the discussion on facebook that I've been promoting~  taking a time out from the kids. So.. that's what I'll write about a little bit. As much as I love the monsters, and heaven knows they are my reason for living, they out number me. They figured out this fact years ago, and have learned how to present a united front whenever I ask them to do something they are opposed to... such as their daily chores. I have the most stubborn group of children in the free world. Though it's most likely hereditary on the mother's side, I choose to ignore that possibility. They do not care that there will be consequences for not doing chores. Losing privileges does not faze them. Being grounded is "so last year".

Corporal punishment in our home is extremely rare. Most often, they receive help sessions.  Because the misbehaving little monsters I speak of are 10,12, 14, and 16, time outs are inadequate and ineffective.  I was ready to yank out my own hair trying to figure out how to make an impression on the little darlings a few years ago. I was in the home of a friend for some reason I've since forgotten, and one of her children was  misbehaving badly. She looked at the child not unkindly and quietly said two words. "Help session." The child looked like they had just been told to line up for execution by guillotine. And then the most amazing thing I have ever seen happened. The child calmly and quietly walked to the middle of the room and stood there. That's it! No back talk, no whining or crying or begging for mercy.

A help session, you see, is when a child stands in the middle of a room or doorway where there is nothing to lean on. No one is allowed to talk to the child on the help session. The child is not allowed to speak. They may not dance or run in place. They just have to stand there. A help session lasts one minute for each year of life. Help sessions at the Monster House are different only because my children have not yet learned (after 4 years?!?!?) not to whine and cry and ask when it's going to be over.... offenses which result in an extra minute for each complaint. They typically run 20-30 minutes.... each. I just don't get it. If they would just be quiet, life as they know it would be SO much easier!

Following help sessions, I earn my user name. I am frazzled. I am ready for Calgon to take me away. I am begging Ed McMahon to come and tell me I won so I can hire a medically trained babysitter and take off to Vegas for the weekend. 

THIS is why parents need time outs upon occasion. It's not that every day life isn't stressful. It is. But most of us can muddle through. It's when fun little extras happen.. like my #5 monster telling his kindergarten teacher she was an idiot yesterday, or when he got mad today,peed on the nursery TV and killed it.  This was catastrophic because Logan has to have the moving lights, music and sounds to sleep. It's going to be a fun night.

When the older monsters were very young, say, in the 2-8 year old span, I used to stand in the middle of the living room and scream into a pillow when things got rough. The mini monsterlettes thought that was great fun. They were forever saying " Tow a fit, momma, tow a fit!" I stopped doing that when one of them tried to smother me in my sleep because they wanted to see my face turn red again.

I began using the bathroom as my space. I'd lock the door and just sit on the side of the tub for a few minutes until I could remember my native language... minus all the four letter words. Then the monsterlettes learned to pick the lock.

That's about the time I learned that the only time I was ever going to have to myself is between the hours of 3am and 6am. It remains true. Little monsterlettes wake up and need a fresh diaper or a sippy refill or a potty break or a snuggle after a nightmare until about 3. Then... it's quiet and pleasant and blissfully free of " SHE'S BOTHERING ME!" and "Well, HE started it!" and " Mother, make this....infant... behave!" This last from the 16 year old monster referring to her one and only sister, who is ten.

Parents NEED time outs. It's not a bad thing. It's not an admission of weakness. Think of it as more of an.... effort to preserve your offspring's continuation of life. Yeah.... that's it! ;)

Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to create time for your own time outs, come up with ideas/places for your time outs, implement them....and if you're REALLY ambitious, come to the discussion on the blog's facebook

Back to business!

I've spent the last week showing you a glimpse of the insanity we know and love here at the Monster House. There was a method to my madness. I wanted to show everyone how completely dedicated I am to my family, and most especially, how dedicated I am to pursuing more and more knowledge and resources for Logan. Now is the time to show the world what this little blog can do.

I am aware that the recipe page of the blog is sorely lacking. Even as I type, recipes are being researched, adapted, and created especially for the gfcfsfcf diet that is so important to Logan's continued health. The sweet woman in charge of this enormous project has been in constant contact with me, verifying allergies, sensitivities, and even discussing things she has learned by tirelessly doing the research. I am excited beyond words for this project. The goal of the recipes page is to have recipes that are versatile ~ by this I mean with little effort these recipes can be used for the whole family while still being healthy, nutritious, and and tasty for the gfcfsfcf among us. The page will soon become a vital part of the "big picture". I thank you all sincerely for your continued understanding while that page is under construction.

When this blog was just a thought, I envisioned a village; indeed a close knit community, of parents and families all working toward the same goal, regardless of where we were in the journey. I want to learn from each others' experiences, celebrate each others' successes, and know that there are shoulders to cry on when the realities just get too intense to bear alone. 

This is what *I* want to learn, at the moment ( as the research hiatus is over, once again): I want to learn more about PT that will help Logan with his balance. His legs do not work together. One leg walks "normally". The other marches, toe to heel. Because of this, he is very unstable, and falls easily. Because I'm horribly mean and fired the PT from EI (Early Intervention), and they only have the one PT on staff, I will be learning how to be a PT for Logan until further notice.

I want to learn more about OT, as our OT through EI just quit to pursue a teaching position out of state as a Special Education teacher. He will be a phenomenal teacher, and I wish him every success while I hold back tears~ because we will miss his positive attitude and gentle teaching methods that were so extremely what Logan needed. I will be researching for a double unofficial degree, in PT AND OT, because I cannot simply let Logan's brain and muscles atrophy while EI searches frantically for new staff.

So. I will be an unofficial full time, at home student. ( This most likely will not stop until I'm dead, you know. I LOVE learning new things!!!) Also, I am trying to arrange a class for my 16 and 14 year old monsters in CPR for babies and toddlers. I have seen in the last few weeks how necessary that has become.My plate is full... and I wouldn't have it any other way!

I will share what I learn, and hope that it benefits others. I will continue to share snippets of the daily bizarre happenings in the Monster House, because in fact, this is the reason the blog exists! My monsters are my joy. I will ask for help as I hit bumps in the road, and hope that somewhere ,someone has been through that bump and can offer advice.

And last, but very much not least, I will learn from YOU. To date, we have not had the written response I had hoped for. Please know that this is as much a blog of the followers as it is a blog of mine. If there are things that you want to see here, I strongly encourage you to email us.  I have been made aware that the email link on my profile does not always work. So here ya go:

~For letters and questions to Bubbe, please continue to use the email address she posted on her Ask Bubbe page.

~For letters and questions to Dena Page, who wrote the guest blog, please email frazzledmomma at the address below~ just put Dena's name in the subject line, and it will be forwarded to her. She is a wealth of information on eating kosher and gluten free, and Irlen Screening. I just love her, I really do!

~For letters, questions, subject suggestions, or any old thing, email frazzledmomma at: benandjerryluvr@yahoo.com  

(no smart comments. I am comfortable in my addiction! ;) )

An Interactive Thank You from all of us.

Tonight I was looking over at a happy, healthy Logan playing with his brothers, and my cup runneth over. I simply cannot put into words the emotion. So, this ONE time only, you get an interactive blog. There are directions. Please play along... I promise you won't be disappointed.

When the music begins,  start scrolling down at a gentle pace. I'm serious now. Scouts honor, and all that. You can follow along with the lyrics. It will make sense.



If it weren't for kids, have you ever thought, there wouldn't be no Santa Claus





Or look what the stork just brought- thank God for kids!

And we'd all live in a quiet house, without Big Bird or Mickey Mouse, or
Koolaid on the couch, thank God for kids. 


Thank God for kids, there's magic for a while. A special kind of sunshine in a smile. Do you ever stop to think, or wonder why....... the nearest thing to heaven.... is a child?


Daddy, how does this thing fly? And a hundred other wheres and whys.... I really don't know, but I try, thank God for kids.

When I look down in those trustin' eyes that look to me,  I realize, there's love that I can't buy. Thank God for kids.


Thank God for kids, there's magic for a while. A special kind of sunshine in a smile. Do you ever stop to think, or wonder why....... the nearest thing to heaven.... is a child?

When you get down on your knees tonight, and thank the Lord for his guidin' light, pray they turn out right. Thank God for kids.

Thank God for kids!!!!!!!!!!
 

My love, best wishes, and thanks to everyone, for the support you've given us as we built this blog. It means the world to us that we can show Logan's continuing story and be a support to others who are traveling this road. Many MANY thanks for the guest bloggers, Logan's Daddy, and smart friends who know HTML code! 

 

Play that funky music...............

I decided last night that I would write about music and special needs children today. But I had no idea how fun it would be to get resources for the blog and do the research! I've had a smile on my face for an hour. Noting my documented hate of mornings (see last blog), this is a monumental occasion. Therefore, I just have to share!  The links to the articles I refer to will be at the bottom of today's blog and in the resources page.

It has been known for quiet a while now that music has the ability to lighten your mood, make you melancholy, relax you (babies and lullabies. need I say more?), get you all energized (aerobics at the gym. Something I'm voluntarily allergic to), and provoke a multitude of other feelings. I have listened to symphonies on youtube or on a CD and gotten goosebumps to the point that my hair stood up on the crown of my head. I have listened to Concrete Angel by Martina McBride and sobbed ( and will never listen to it again... I can't get through it. But, that's just me).  I listen to the Eagles, Queen, Billy Joel or KT Tunstall when I need to clean the house. I play Bobby Darrin, Sinatra, Neil Sedaka, and Elvis when I want to see my kids roll their eyes and pretend to become embarrassed.

The article, How Music Therapy Can Help Your Child by Kristyn Crow ( a mother of seven.... I like her already! *wink*) really spoke to me. She notes the benefits in music for gross and fine motor difficulties, speech disorders, and disabilities including... ~drum roll please~ autism. Please humor me... I'm going to quote her directly here for a minute: 

•  Here are several ways that Music Therapy can help your child:
• stimulates and engages many parts of the brain not used in typical language processing. Often children who have difficulty with language can improve their skills through song. I have heard of some children learning to sing before they could speak.
  
• Playing an instrument helps teach a child muscle coordination, rhythm, cause and effect, and improves fine and gross motor skills. It also increases self-esteem and confidence.
• Music brightens a child's mood. Have you ever noticed how certain songs can make you feel melancholy, or happy? Music is mood-enhancing, and children with disabilities often benefit greatly from upbeat, rhythmic music that they can sing or play an instrument with.
• Music is tremendously helpful with stress-relief and can be used with relaxation techniques.
• Interestingly enough, playing the kazoo has been found to be an effective way to promote speech. Something about the feel of the vibrations and hearing the sound emitted stimulates the desire to create verbal sounds. Many children have improved their ability to speak using a kazoo.

OK. Raise your hand if you have a child that would NOT run around the house like a maniac and play the kazoo if you let him/her. I mean, how fun does this sound?!?! I'm excited just thinking about it!

So, I'm reading all this, and getting......pleasant.... at 8 am, and thinking, wow. This is really important! This needs to be one of our resources! And I read some more, and the article links to The American Music Therapy Association website. Double wow. Triple wow! I could get lost for DAYS with all the resources and articles and fun stuff they have. And seriously, the cutest little girl in the world is on that home page, and I just melted. I love little monsters. I really, REALLY do. ( Don't. tell. Ben!!!!!) 

So. I'm going to stop typing now, and post the links for both the article and the American Music Therapy Association and let y'all be as blown away as I was.  Go ahead and read and smile and stuff. I'm going to hunt me down some kazoos!! Don't worry.. by this afternoon I'll have a raging headache and be cursing myself and saying something like, "SEE?!?! Do ya SEE what happens when I'm pleasant in the morning?!?" But for now... it's all good! Happy Monday everyone!

How Music Therapy Can Help Your Child by Kristyn Crow

http://special-needs.families.com/blog/how-music-therapy-can-help-your-child

The American Music Therapy Association

http://www.musictherapy.org/

Woulda, coulda, shoulda

Today started early. Colton, Logan's twin, gently woke me at 630 by screaming at the top of his lungs and demanding cookies. I have no idea how Logan slept through it, since his crib is right next to his brother's.  Let me just say... I am not a morning person. I never have been. I get up because I have to.. and I really don't like it.  I am not pleasant or coherent until I have caffeine running through my veins, and even then, it's best not to ask me important questions until noon or so.

Early mornings are not my friend, and this is why: I can never get back to sleep, and I inevitably start in on the "woulda, coulda, shoulda". I have said for years that I have an overactive guilt gene. Paired with my overactive mothering gene, this can be annoying. Toss in an overactive "I need to know", and it just gets too stupid for words. Let me explain. Be warned, this could be a bit lengthy.

Today's woulda,coulda, shoulda is brought to you by Tuesday, September 7. Tuesday, September 7 was a hell day. I had dentist appointments for two of the monsters "in town". We live in the sticks of southern Utah, and "town" is 40-ish miles away. My 16 and 12 year old monsters stayed with the twinnies and the 5 year old monster, and I took off for town with the 10 and 14 year old monsters. The excursion was uneventful... fillings and extractions~ followed by hisses, curses, evil looks and promises of "very bad things" by the 10 year old as I hustled her off the the van and apologized profusely to the office staff. ( It should be noted that the 10 year old is a drama queen, and LOUDLY told the dentist he was a child abuser after he finished her fillings. I foresee a rate hike on the dental bill for that little comment....)

We returned home to a clean, peaceful house. I was pleasantly surprised that no one was in tears, there was no tattling or accusations of violence, and everyone was glad to see me. They were smiling, for crying out loud! It was a little bit Twilight Zone, a little bit Stepford Wives. Except for the 10 year old, who was still very verbal with her belief that dentists are child abusers. Besides, there were people at home that had not heard the 45 minute rant we were treated to on the drive back, so she had to start all over to make sure everyone had that pleasure.

I realized that Logan wasn't in the group of smiling children ( note to self: when children smile, be afraid... be very afraid.), and asked where he was. The eldest monster explained that Logan was tired, so she had put him down for a nap. Now. It's 5pm. Never, never, never EVER put a child down for a nap at 5pm. After gently explaining that this was not the best idea  ( it went something like this, " WHAT?!?! how long ago did you put him down? Is he already asleep? Oh no! No no no no no no NO! Hurry quick fast and get him up... it's too late for a nap. Aw, maaaaaaaaaaan!"), monster #2 went and got Logan up.

Logan was sleepy. Couldn't keep his eyes open. So, I told #2 to bring Logan to me so I could play with him and wake him up a bit. It goes downhill from there. As soon as I got Logan, I noticed that he was yellow. Really very yellow in comparison to his twin and the other monsters. But his eyes were very white~ no yellow tinge at all. So, I had a little come apart, freaked out on the Daddy monster for a minute, then called the doctor's answering service to see what to do. While I'm on  the phone ( still holding Logan), Logan's eyes rolled up to the back of his head and he passed out. In my arms. We couldn't wake him. I was screaming, and hung up on the service, trying to wake Logan. This is how Logan has seizures. He completely shuts down. After two minutes, we finally got Logan awake, and I was on the phone again. The service didn't mess with me. They connected me directly to the pediatrician's cell ( THANK YOU, smart phone service person). We decided together, that it was smarter to go to St.George instead of Cedar City ( where the pedi is) because they have a trauma rated ER and bigger, better, shinier, fancier equipment and could do an MRI.

Ben was out the door with my car keys, Logan , monster #1,and the diaper bag and driving down the road before I really knew what was happening. Wait! Wait..... wait for me!  I wanna be there, too! Giant, worried Momma tears rolling down my face at this point, and I was at home instead of flying down the highway with Logan. And then.... the texting begins.

We are all about texting in this family. Grocery lists, threats of violence if a certain 16 year old isn't home in three minutes or less, declarations of love, hate, and "mom can i have some money" all come through by way of text. I'm texting at the speed of light, trying to hasten arthritis and carpal tunnel syndrome. I'm texting medical history, medication info, allergies, diet, doctor info and all manner of pertinent information to Ben as he drives so he will have it upon reaching the hospital.

Once they got to the hospital.... things REALLY went downhill. 1) we didn't use an ambulance, so this is not an emergency. End quote. 2) Logan is acting fine and not bleeding, therefore it's not an emergency 3)They don't do MRIs at night. Someone should have given Logan the memo. 4) They won't do an MRI, but how about a spinal tap as a consolation prize 5) this is not an emergency. They will get to Logan when they dang well please.

I'm getting all this information from Ben one minuscule text message at a time, and pacing laps around the house and thinking, if I was there, I would raise hell and creation until the MRI got done. I mean, seriously. If there had been a 40 car pile up on the interstate, they would have yanked an MRI technician out of bed. So... yank the technician out of bed already! We only have a small window of time to see what's going on after a seizure!!! I would have thrown a Momma bear fit until they called security and got the test done. If I was there. I would take the doctor aside and impress him/her with my knowledge of Logan and make them understand why we need this MRI so badly. If I was there. I would have turned the air blue when they started trying to placate Daddy by offering spinal taps. If I was there. I would make them call the pediatrician again and verify the necessity. If I was there.

Fast forward roughly 7 hours from the time Logan left with Daddy to go to the hospital. They have, at this point, done a chest xray,  liver function,  CT and a CBC, and everything is coming back clean. The one thing they came for, that our doctor called ahead to order before  they got there, the MRI... wasn't done.  They decided to keep Logan overnight anyway. My father took me to town at midnight so I could be with Logan in the pediatric unit overnight and Ben could take monster #1 home, get a few hours sleep, get the kids off to school and go to work. The nursing staff was phenomenal. I grilled Logan's nurses, I made them go through every page of his chart with me. I made them tell me about every test Logan had been through. I spent an hour talking to them about his allergies, medications, and history. And they LIKED it! I got praise and admiration... just for being Logan's mother. I couldn't understand why this was so unusual.. a mother knowing the answers to every question they asked.

Nothing happened during our overnight stay at the priciest hotel in town. That's really what it was. A $4,000 hotel stay. No more tests, no concern, no monitoring of Logan except a sugar water IV and one of those annoying toe things that monitors heart rate. And in the morning, during rounds, the pediatrician on call came in and told me that there was nothing wrong with Logan, had never BEEN anything wrong with Logan, and he strongly doubted that there had been a seizure at all. But, just to make me happy, he had ordered an EKG before discharge. It was only by divine intervention that I didn't slap the man. We did the EKG, and went home.

Two days later, we saw our pediatrician for a follow up. Suffice it to say that he was livid. But it was too  late. The only thing that could be done now was an EEG to see if Logan has a seizure disorder. So we did. He doesn't have a seizure disorder.

Fast forward to today. We still have no answers. We'll have to wait until Logan has another seizure, and then call the pedi, stay on the phone with him while we drive to Cedar City, go to the ER, and get flown by MedEvac up north to Primary Children's Hospital in Salt Lake City. And all because of that stupid MRI that the hospital refused to do. But there will always be the woulda,coulda, shoulda. Somehow, in my irrational Mommy mind, I woulda, coulda, shoulda been able to make that test happen, make the doctors do their job, figured out something that would have helped Logan.

This morning, Ben told me that I expect perfection of myself, and he wished I wouldn't be so hard on myself. Here's the question, y'all: doesn't EVERY mother do that? Seriously.....

Gimmee some of that Red No.40!!

I've had a song stuck in my head all day. ALL day. That irritates me no end.  And, it's all the fault of the monsters. My sweet, wonderful, fabulous monsters that I love with all my heart. See, normal children ( we call them non-monsters) would walk up to their mother and say, "Mom, can I have a piece of candy?" Not at the Monster House! Oh, no! That's too mundane and expected for my little darlings. I got to hear Aaron Carter's I Want Candy sung over and over and over, most often off key.  I realize this song is not about actual candy, but we're talking about my young, uninformed kids, here. (Let me share the pleasure. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uxA7UEND0cs&feature=related now all you have to do is replay it about 50 times to have the same experience I did)

Now~ after that extremely creative display, I gave all the kids ( but the twinnies) a Hershey's kiss on the sly and told them if they ever sang that song again, chocolate would cease to exist. But.... all this prompted research on my end, and I found some really interesting things out about artificial color. This article found on Healing Autism and ADHD is very informative, and the author is very interesting. My eyes did not glaze over, and I did not find myself rereading paragraphs over and over trying to make sense of the words.  I'll post a link here in my blog, and also post it in the gfcf tab, because it's that important.

While I was reading this article, I had twisted mental pictures of my children saying, "Hey Mom, can I have some Red No. 40? or "HEY!! Who ate all the FD&C Yellow No. 5?!?!?!?!" Hope y'all get as much out of it as I did. I'm going to cut my blog short, and turn you over to the link. Happy Saturday, everyone!

http://healingautismandadhd.wordpress.com/2010/02/12/artificial-food-coloring-is-evil/

Broccoli for breakfast, and other bizarre happenings

In the mighty Monster House ( I have 7 "monsters".  Don't get upset by this... think Jim Henson. A cookie monster child, a super Grover child, an Oscar the grouch child...etc) we do things differently. Because Logan cannot have eggs, we never have eggs in the morning. We ONLY have eggs when I make breakfast for dinner, and then he gets something on his plate that is the same color as eggs. He's 2. He WILL figure it out if he does not have the same amount of things, or the same colors. And we WILL be told about it, even though none of us are fluent in his particular version of baby profanity.

Because Logan has so many CAN'T haves, we take every opportunity to present CAN haves. Toddlers like choices. I like that about toddlers. This helps them make decisions and figure out likes and dislikes.For example. Today's breakfast choices were:

organic broccoli from the garden, left over from dinner last night
rice cake and almond butter
Rice Chex
banana
juice.

I am not joking when I tell you Logan chose broccoli, banana, and juice. (YAY Logan! Good choices, m'love!) Here's the thing. I don't want to spend the next decade or so telling Logan "That's not something you can have." So, I offer choices that are always permitted with his diet, and never offer things that are prohibited. My twisted thinking process is this: if I always offer a variety of things he can have, he will be exposed to lots of foods and flavors and textures that are permissible and never feel like he got left out. As he gets older, hopefully I can keep this same principle in play.

And now.... the confession. I have a Ben and Jerry addiction. The kind of addiction that, if I told the general public, "Intervention" would be banging down my door trying to get me into treatment. Let me just say... I won't go into rehab, no matter what!!! ;)

Logan can't have Ben and Jerry. Ever. And the pint cartons are so fun and pretty and child friendly and desirable!!! I felt like the worst kind of mother the time I had some when I though Logan wasn't looking. He was.  I now have to indulge my addiction between 1 and 3 am when EVERYONE is sleeping. I  had SO much guilt, in fact, that I made it my purpose in life to find SOMETHING sinful and yummy and gooey and messy that this child could eat for days and never have an allergic reaction. And I found it.

Should I share?

Really?

Okay.. but you're going to think I'm nuts. The recipe is exceedingly difficult, and must be followed to the letter.

1-4.47 oz. package Quaker rice cakes, the lightly salted flavor
1- jar of Nutella spread
1- rubber spatula like you use to scrape mixing bowls
7 children... or two toddlers and a Momma that wishes she had Ben and Jerry
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Remove a rice cake from the package. Slather a THICK layer of nutella on the side of the rice cake that is NOT flat. Give to a child. Repeat. These taste EXACTLY like kit kat bars.

This treat does not have a name. We just call it nutella and rice cakes. And now all the neighborhood kids like it, too! Try it. You'll like it. You'll also most likely need to hose down your kitchen after kids have eaten them, so make it an outside snack, or you can give these to them in the bathtub. Don't worry. They float.

Quieting the storm

There is SO much information online and in books about Autism,  Sensory Processing Disorder, food allergies, diet, medication, therapy and on and on and on. The first impulse is to immerse yourself in it until you find the answer your child needs. I am guilty of doing this. I buried myself in research for weeks on end, reading medical journals online, joining parent support groups, reading testimonials ( you all know what I mean, the ones that have giant headlines screaming " I cured my child's Autism with (insert "cure" here) !!!"

Let me just add my two cents, based on my experiences and nothing more. Yes. You should research. Any parent would. However. It is so easy to get completely caught up in finding the "cure", that you lose sight of what's important.  I did. I was convinced that I was going to find the missing information that doctors and allergists and therapists were missing. I didn't care that these people went to medical school or had degrees or were specialists in their field. Obviously they didn't know MY son!! I was going to be Logan's hero. I was going to rule the world! Well, okay. Maybe not rule the world. But you get my point. I asked thousands of questions online and in person. I grilled everyone I came in contact with about every little thing I had read. I stopped seeing all the progress Logan was making. I was pleased that he was doing well with therapy, but now I wanted to solve all the issues. Today.  I wanted answers and I wanted them RIGHT NOW!

Fast forward a month or six weeks, to where I was so exhausted from staying up all night every night researching Logan's "cure" that I was floundering in daily life.  I owe our VERY incredible occupational therapist a debt of gratitude for his intervention. We were having a therapy session for Logan one day and he was trying to tell me about some new research he had come across, and some resources I could access online. I interrupted the man and said, " "I've already read all that. What else ya got?" With a LOT more patience than I would have been able to use had the situation been reversed, he said, "Look. You need to take a research break. Don't stop completely, but you need to really step back and look at things that ARE happening instead of dreaming about things you WANT to happen." I was shocked! I was angry! I mean, really! How dare he! Who does this man think he is?!?! And then............ reality hit. I looked at Logan who was running laps around the house to stimulate his brain in between therapy games. Wait... did I say running? Logan was running. And laughing. And babbling away excitedly in that indecipherable baby speak that makes all mothers smile. And signing because he wanted a snack. And I melted. How did I miss all this??? I was there, teaching him sign, and playing therapy games, and talking nonstop with him every day. But I still missed it. It hadn't sunken in that he was THRIVING!

I still do ridiculous amounts of research. But I frequently take breaks. Sometimes it's just a day or two. Sometimes it's a month. This last break has been a few weeks, because we have been working through the testing, doctor's visits and hospital stay Logan's last seizure created. My priorities have shifted somewhat. I still have every intention of researching anything I think will be beneficial to Logan. But I won't let that take precedence over stopping to appreciate the small stuff, like the first time he called me Momma. Or the first time he said "Puppy! Ruff ruff!". Or the first time he had ever been in a wading pool because his allergies were under control enough to go outside. Or when he saw me wearing hoop earrings last week and said, "ears peez!" because he wanted to wear some, too!

The moral of the story is, don't lose sight of the everyday victories just because you're too busy reading the latest medical journals, or magazine articles, or support forum. Take time to live. Take time to smile and laugh and appreciate.  Involve the entire family in therapies and care. It makes all the difference. The biggest step for me was to realize that I am not alone. I don't have to go on a crusade and exhaust myself in the process because there are SO many people and resources out there to help. I am not the only parent trying to find answers.

But EVERY kid deserves PBJ, chicken nuggets, and birthday cake!

I remember a conversation I was having with Ben right before the twins' second birthday in June. At some point, while discussing party plans, I snapped " EVERY kid deserves PBJ, chicken nuggets, and birthday cake! Anything less is UNAMERICAN!" This was not one of my proudest moments. I was just so frustrated with the lack of variety in Logan's diet, I had hit the breaking point. In fact, I recall letting Logan have a dose of Benadryl on his birthday just so he could have birthday cake with his brother.

Since then, I have learned a few things. My children eat gfcfsfcf chicken nuggets on a regular basis. Yes, ALL of them, even the teenagers. They request these nuggets.  They like them better than fast food nuggets AND store bought nuggets, combined. Therefore I feel comfortable sharing the recipe with cyberspace, knowing that they will be a hit for other children in other homes. I'm not adding quantities, because this is SO easy, you won't need them. Click on  Magnificent Monster House Recipes  for ingredients and directions. Does your family have a favorite gfcf recipe? I want to see it! Sharing is encouraged here.

Learning Loganese

I am the first to admit that my knowledge of "loganese" (our word for anything having to do with Logan's allergies, meds, medical history, or diet) is not nearly as vast as I would like it to be. Being his mother makes that all the more frustrating. I can rattle off his short list of meds to any medical professional on command. I can tell you what will happen if he has an allergic reaction from the first minute to anaphylaxis. I can tell you about his sleep routine and eating habits. I cannot, however, stop feeling that somewhere there is something I am missing that is critical to his well being.

I once told our pediatrician that although I have seven children, Logan is the one that makes me feel like I know nothing about being a mother. At one point last year, I actually took video of Logan to a routine appointment to show our doctor. While he watched, I cried like a baby and said, "This is not normal!" It was through him that we were able to get occupational, physical, and speech therapy for Logan, and referrals to an allergist. These were the first baby steps to finding out what makes Logan tick. As recently as March of this year, Logan was not walking or talking or making any effort to communicate other than whimpers. And then, like the voice of doom, we found out about the "autism diet". The changes within two weeks of implementing this diet were phenomenal. Logan had turned into a 2 year old, instead of the shell of a child he used to be. We are still on this journey... and I don't think we will ever finish traveling it, but I am excited to share the many things we have learned, and practical, REAL ways to use this diet for the whole family without giving up the things you love.

If you have comments, or stories to share, I want to hear them! I am by no means an expert. But I am a firm believer that the more people that journey together, the better the experience! How exciting for me.... I get to share Logan with everyone... and nothing makes my heart happier than being able to show real proof that diet and therapy work.