Saturday, October 2, 2010

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Bedtime stories for monsters

Once upon a time there was a Momma and a Daddy, and seven little monsters. Now the seven little monsters, fun and multicolored and furry and snugly and the envy of Jim Henson's workshop, all had special powers. You see, the monsters all had different talents. #5 could make messes at the speed of light. #6 could find a toilet to flush and splash in no matter where he went.  #4 could make a tragedy or romantic comedy out of any circumstance, and whip up the tears to go with it. #3 could con hot chocolate out of an Eskimo's hand. #2 could soothe the crankiest baby, and #1, even while being cursed with the emotions of a teenage girl, still helped the Momma so much that life was happier with her around. 

But #7 monster had different powers. He was the squishiest monster. He was the kind of monster people look at and just want to hug. He could smile and people would instantly be under his spell. He could eat a very restrictive diet and enjoy it. But #7 monster also had other talents. He could be very sick and still be happy. He could be in a hospital and never cry when the nurses came to do another test. #7 you see, was a very special monster, indeed. 

Despite all the scary things that happened to #7, he was a happy monster. He was the youngest, and the smallest, and the most delicate of all the monsters, but all his monster siblings loved him and took care of him, no matter what. Everyone wanted to keep #7 happy and healthy. The Momma and the Daddy learned about gfcfsfcf diets, OT, PT and SLP therapy, and had allergy testing done. The grocery bill suddenly sky rocketed. The Grama and the Grandad came over every Sunday for dinner and never complained when gfcfsfcf chicken nuggets were on the menu. #7 thrived with all of this new knowledge and attention! 

The therapists that came to the Monster House were shocked at how fast #7  learned to walk and talk. And just last week, the Monster School for the Deaf and Blind came to assess #7 for services. When the assessment was over, the representative looked at the Momma and asked why #7 was referred for services, because he was ahead of his age group... for the mainstream monsters! And then the Momma got in trouble for trying to commit fraud for services.The Momma laughed and cried with happiness and twirled #7 around and around until he giggled and shrieked " WET GO! WET GO! Down Momma!" ( Now, between you and me, I think the representative thought Momma was ready for a rubber room.)

But the Momma knew there were still  things that she had to do. She still had to figure out how to keep #7 progressing at this pace, so she got on to the MonsterNet and started researching OT and PT. She called friends and family and acquaintances to help her. She researched and researched and researched until her eyes were grainy and she had seen several sunrises ( and she REALLY needed a shower). Momma knew that it was up to her to be #7's advocate, and she was determined to learn everything she could.

Momma stopped researching for a couple of days and started to play in the kitchen, much to the delight of the Daddy. She wanted to make new recipes for #7, because even for a monster, his diet wasn't very good. Sometimes the experiments were yummy, and the monsters and the Daddy praised the Momma and told her she was a goddess. Other times, the monsters and the Daddy threatened to take away Momma's mixing bowls and measuring cups ~ in between dry heaves and very bad words. That was when Momma decided it might be better to stick to the MonsterNet for a while.

The Monsters were a happy family, and they worked together (sometimes), and played together(most times), and they laughed together ( every day). They loved each other, even when #5 poured shampoo on #4's mattress, and even when #7 yanked out handfuls of #6's hair. You see, they were a family, and family is everything.

At the end of every day, all the monsters would come to the Momma and the Daddy and do the hug-kiss-good night thing, and the Momma and the Daddy would breathe great sighs of relief and envision restful sleep. After 3 or 4 hours, #4 would run out of reasons to stay up, the twinnie monsters would be down for the night, and the Momma would drag her weary self to bed after typing marvelous blogs that entertained the world and helped other parents who had special monsters just like #7.

And they all lived happily ever after. Most of the time.

4 comments:

Dena Page, M.Ed., CBA said...

The end. What an absolutely beautiful story!

Karen said...

You don't just "entertain the world" -- you inspire us! Thank you for this story!

frazzledmomma said...

Y'all are sweet! This blog is the product of an extremely exhausted Momma, who would have felt extreme amounts of guilt if she didn't blog, but didn't have the focus to write a real one at the time.

Grocery Dad said...

You have a gift for words! This is a great story!

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