Thursday, December 29, 2011

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I Am A Closet Foodie

I have a confession to make. I am a closet foodie. I love to cook. I love to bake. I live to create new and wonderful things. However, this gets a little difficult when I'm supposed to be adhering to a very strict GFCFSFCF diet. It's not fun! It is not pleasant! It's not even remotely triggering my creative genius in the kitchen. I have tried. Really I have. But it's just not working for me.

So, I'm the one on the couch in the middle of the night, secretly watching Cupcake Wars, Chopped, The Next Great Baker, Cake Boss, Paula Deen.. the list goes on. And on. And on....while I hope that Logan never sees some of the amazingness that is the cooking channel and Food Network.

I love it all. I love watching everything happen. From purchase to food prep to plate to first bite. I have have SUCH GUILT!! I don't get out much, people. I watch all the deliciousness happen, and occasionally you'll find me in the kitchen late at night whipping up something phenomenal. The latest experiment was bread pudding made from gingerbread and egg nog. The flavor was amazing. The consistency needs a little tweaking.

Am I the only one? I can't take it anymore! As able as I am in the kitchen, I have yet to successfully create a gluten/corn/egg free cupcake that tastes and bakes up anything remotely like the real thing. It's intimidating! It's depressing! It's... NOT FAIR!! Where are all the foodie shows without gluten, dairy, corn, soy, or eggs?  Sometimes, I feel they ignore the fact that there are people with different nutritional needs out here in TV land. Wanna know why? It's impossible to have a showdown with restrictions like that.

That's it. I have made an executive decision. There needs to be a show for restricted foodies like us.  Get on it, Food Network! I have faith in you. Scour the country. Heck, scour the world! Find me a molten chocolate cake, or a pasta dish, or bread, or pie, or pan seared something or other, or sour cream bechamel (wait, that's totally against GFCFSFCF. Forget the bechamel) that could go up against The Next Iron Chef or Chopped All Stars, but adhers to the guidelines we have. Give us inspiration! Give us hope! Give us something to get excited about, as we go on our weekly shopping trip and spend the equivalent of a mortgage payment on groceries our child can eat. Oh! OOOOH! Give me a sopapilla that tastes like the real thing, puffs like the real thing, but isn't the real thing!

Okay. I'm taking a breath. I'm relaxing. But REALLY, y'all! It was Christmas, and Logan couldn't have treats unless he was doped up on Pedia Care Allergy. That's no way to have to treat a three year old so he can eat a tiny chocolate Santa Claus on Christmas morning. It's just sad. So. Who do I need to whine to at Food Network? I have all kinds of brilliant ideas.  ;)

Logos in this post from the Google via Wikipedia. 

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