Wednesday, May 23, 2012

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The Berensteins Didn't Write a Book For This

Today is the day my #1 officially graduates from high school. Granted, the thought of walking with all the graduates in front of all the parents at the actual graduation sent her into a panic attack, so she won't be doing that. But, she's graduating all the same. And a few short hours after that, she'll be off with a bus load of her friends on Senior Trip, headed to California for three days to experience pollution, Magic Mountain, see a Dodger's game, and fry herself crispy go to the beach. We're a little short on waves here in Utah, it seems.

Wait. Did I miss something? Was there a Berenstein Bears book on this that I neglected to read? These bears taught the monsters about lying, teasing, cleaning rooms,bullies, going to the doctor, the dentist, school,and the farm. Saying prayers, doing chores,giving thanks, new babies, strangers, and going on vacation. But I didn't see one for when your first monster graduates high school. (But I do love the way Sister Bear's expression in that image is just like my #1's expression ^^up there^^ in my blog header!)

Wait, Berensteins! You can't cut me off like this! I need to sit my #1 down and read a book with her, so she knows what will happen, and also so I won't have a teary meltdown. Okay, I'll still have the teary meltdown, but I promise I won't do it in front of her until she's boarding the bus for her very first trip "on her own".

I've been doing well thus far. I took her to the market to get food she could gum to death swallow whole much like a python tolerate(she's been newly fitted with spacers, as she's getting braces next week, and has discovered that chewing is not so fun anymore). I was only a dead ringer for the Jewish helicopter Momma for the last half of that trip. And I pretty much stopped asking if she was sure she had enough food when we were in the checkout lane, and #1 begged the cashier to tell me it was enough. It was the *facepalm* she did repeatedly while standing in line that convinced me.

This is my baby! My firstest little girl! And... she's.... *sniffle*... graduating and leaving for three days and she's never been on a trip by herself before and I will miss her and I will worry because what if she loses her cell phone or her money gets stolen or she gets lost because let's face it people we live in a really little town or what if she misses the bus when it's time to come home and all her luggage is on it with her money and her phone and her Visa card then how will she tell us she got left behind and..and..and....  *sniffle*. My baby went and grew up on me. The little snot.

Well then. Since she went and grew up, (without permission, I might add!) there's only one thing left to say. Raise your glasses, everyone. Okay, okay. You don't have glasses. Fine. Raise your coffee cup, your mouses (mice?), or your phones if you're addicted to the Monster House via mobile.... and join me in a toast to the #1. Here's to #1~ my first, the guinea pig monster, who managed to survive having a helicopter mom and six siblings, and has the sarcastic sense of humor to prove it. I love you, baby girl! You did it!! *sniffle*

Berenstein Bears image by screenrant
The totally BRILLIANT Portable Jewish Mother by
Helicopter Mom illustration by Momma Needs A Beer
Making a Toast image by Life123

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