Tuesday, May 17, 2011

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Too much stress/ too little sleep?

Situation Critical, Explosion Imminent (moving image) Pictures, Images and Photos

This is a throughly unprofessional, not even the tiniest bit scientific, for entertainment purposes only, list of signs you have too much stress. I will neither confirm nor deny whether these things have happened to me, personally. Here we go:

You may be too stressed and too tired if:

  1. You burst into tears when you realize you need to do the dishes, and it's already 11pm
  2. You stroll down the pillow aisle of a department store, and wonder if you would get caught by store security and/or your children if you climbed into the bins to take a nap
  3. The Daddy says he's going to go to bed now, and you make him a bottle 
  4. Thoughts of doing the laundry make you break out in hives
  5. Your planner is so crammed full of appointments and reminders, you can no longer read the dates
  6. You think anything you receive in the mail that is NOT a medical bill is a present
  7. You can't remember how many days it's been since you last showered and/or shaved your legs
  8. Your toddler has been known to say, " Momma cwanky. Her needs time out!"
  9. Your teenage daughter tells you to go to your room and you not only MIND her, but THANK her as well
  10. Your only "dates" are the ones on the calendar, and they never mean dinner, movie theaters, night clubs, bars, or concerts
  11. You know exactly how much square footage one bottle of Nestle's chocolate syrup will cover completely
  12. Your name is Mom, Momma, Mommy, Mother, Mum, Ma, and/or any variation of the aforementioned. 
  13. Getting a haircut more than once a year has not happened in at least 5 years
  14. You make lists like this and post them to your blog because you can't keep thoughts together long enough to write about it.
If these things have happened to you, all or in part, go to the nearest telephone, call all your friends, get a sitter, and schedule a night out. If you do not do this, the likelihood of spontaneously combusting is very real. And who do you think will get to clean THAT up?
Homer Simpson's work computer animation by photobucket, of course!


Blurred One said...

This is painful...because I fit most of these. Just don't have the teenager yet. Help.

H.E.L.P M.E.


Tillmanator said...

#2 for me. I'm sure if I had kids there would be more. But I LOVE sleep and pillows always beckon to me.

Gina @ Special Happens said...

I'm totally with you on the fun mail. I used to send friends cards just so they would get good mail... and hopefully return the favor. Now I don't have the time (or money) to spend on a card. I guess comments will have to do! (wink).

Jenny said...

Oh, dear! Great list. I hope you enjoy a nap in the bins--sounds fun! :) And I hope you get a night out soon, too.

Anonymous said...

Thank you for the laugh and reminding me of my reality **laughing**
Yes the mail thing... I get so excited when I get samples in the mail. I embarrass my 16yr old. She now walks in with the mail and lets me know if I got a gift or not.
I have made a bottle for my hubby before too LOL...
I had to look up the word date **laughing** since like yourself we never get one. Heck a 5 min quickie in the middle of the night is as romantic as it gets and that is if I am lucky & actually stay awake for it…

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