Wednesday, July 25, 2012

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The Last Two Weeks

Hello, hello, hello!! Did you think I had forgotten how to write? Well. I came darn close, to be honest! Lots and lots to tell you about the last couple of weeks. Firstly, I had a horrendous cold/sinus infection issue for a week, and to top it all off, that was also the week I was single parenting while the Daddy was away on business. So not fun. But, on the fourth day of wishing for death or divine intervention, I got a voice mail. A voice mail that I simply could not ignore, even though I was all croaky and sounding like someone who smoked four packs a day for the last 40 years.

I had been avoiding the phone because I sounded so awful, and to be completely honest, I was in bed as much as I possibly could be. When I was vertical every beat of my heart made my face feel like it was going to explode. You all have been there. You know what I mean.

But, I digress. The voice mail was from a wonderfully amazing woman named Lisa, who works for the newspaper here in Southern Utah. She had been told about me, and our family, and was quite interested in coming out to interview me and the monsters (the Daddy was having none of it, being a person who enjoys his privacy and anonymity). My first (wisely unspoken) thought was, "Um. Are you REALLY sure you want to come to the Monster House and see what we're like in....person? You sweet, brave, clueless thing, you!" But it gets even better. Then she told me she would be bringing (insert music of doom at this point) a.... photographer... with her. Oh. My.Gosh.

Well, yes. Of course I would be delighted to have strangers in my home, asking questions and taking pictures! *gulp* Perhaps it would be smart of us to schedule this in a few days when I've recovered from the Black Death, so as not to pass it on to brave, unsuspecting reporter and photographer type people. So, it was agreed she would come out this past Monday. That was last Thursday.

Bright and early Friday morning, I ignored the fact that I was still wishing for death and/or divine intervention, gathered the monsters and gave them their marching orders. It was to be the day of the Monstrous Front Yard Overhaul. I stupidly worked on the yard and driveway with the monsters for more than eight hours, earning a whopping blister (that popped and bled), aching muscles, and an even larger desire for death and/or divine intervention. But, by Friday evening, the front yard was looking great! Yay us! Now I could take the inside of the house by storm.

Saturday and Sunday I spent shampooing carpets and scrubbing the holy heck out of anything that was nailed down.  Remember. Photographer. Pictures of my children and, by default, pictures of my house. The stains on the carpet were not going to make a good impression. Of this I was sure.  And after the carpets were pretty, I scrubbed the kitchen within an inch of it's life. You can't even tell there was a fire in there anymore! (Oh, yeah. I never told y'all about the kitchen fire the week before I got sick. Oops. It's been a wild couple of weeks.)

Monday came quickly. The reporter was lovely, and the photographer... bless his heart. The poor man walked in and I stopped talking to the reporter. I looked him dead in the eye and said, "A word to the wise. Take pictures. Now. Before anyone gets naked."Ahem. I'd like to publicly apologize to the poor pregnant reporter for giving her apoplexy. Sometimes I forget that the rest of the world doesn't know what it's like to have kids with SPD. And I did explain myself. And eventually, she started breathing normally again.

Super Photographer Dude quickly became my hero, when he told the monsters they were being very well behaved, but they could get off the couch and be themselves now. They had pictures taken while they caught frogs, played with the hose and pretended to water flowers... even though they were mostly watering each other, and lined up the ever present Hot Wheels. They had complete button nirvana when he sat on the (Freshly cleaned!!) Family Room floor with them and showed the twinnies all the buttons on his camera and even let them take a picture or two. Can this guy come back to my house every day? He had the twinnies ready to eat out of his hand for an hour and a half. And there were only meltdowns when he left. Because.. as Logan wailed... "Mumma! He got in his truck and he drove away and didn't come baaaaack!!"

So.. our feature will be in the paper this coming Monday. I'll post a link on our facebook page, which will automatically tweet out as well, so anyone who is interested can read it. To be honest, I'm a weensy bit nervous about it, because there were some things I said that may well be misconstrued, though I sincerely hope that is not the case. And, if it's fabulous, I'll blog about it as well. BUT.. the best part of all this? There will be a photo gallery of my monsters! I haven't even seen it yet.. but Super Photographer Dude promised to email me the link so I could share it. I can't wait!!

Alrightey. Y'all are caught up. I have made it my goal to be better about blogging. But seriously. Kitchen fire, illness, single parenting, and newspaper interview... I think those are all good reasons to have been temporarily unavailable. Right? Right!

Images found through the Google. The landscape, though I wish it were mine, is by Joseph's Landscaping. If you live in New Jersey, call them up! Gorgeous. Simply gorgeous! Wonder if they would fly to Utah....

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