To be honest, April wears me out. Truly. I'm starting to have a real love/hate relationship with April. On the one hand, I love April because it's Spring and I keep having delusions of impeccable landscaping. And on the other hand, I have this dread. This overwhelming "MUST SHOUT ABOUT AUTISM FROM THE ROOFTOPS OR I'M A BAD PERSON!" dread.
But I decided I'm not going to allow the guilt to get to me this year. I've never been a "Light It Up Blue" kind of girl. I did promote the heck out of the Chili's Light It Up Blue Give Back Event, but that was for donations to help the Autism Council of Utah. This is my state. This is my child that will benefit. I couldn't say no. I wasn't waving banners and screaming, "I heart Autism Speaks!" (Because, I don't. Heart Autism Speaks, that is. I appreciate some of their information. That's it.) I'm not putting a blue bulb in the porch light. I'm not providing pictures of Logan for facebook events - that was part of the deal with the Daddy when I started blogging. I would not use Logan as a poster child in any way, shape, or form, away from the blog. I'm not having fundraisers for Team Monster House. I do have several friends that participate in these things, and I support them wholeheartedly. But this type of thing is not for us. I don't live in a large area, where if I took 7 monsters to the store all dressed in blue, people would ask questions and provide a golden opportunity for me to wax poetic about ASD. Everyone pretty much knows everyone else here. They're aware, ok? I have a really big mouth. REALLY big. I'm sure they appreciate the reprieve.
I consider myself to be a fairly outspoken advocate for my child, as well as other children with various special needs. I don't need to prove my mettle in April just to feel better about myself. We all know that autism is every day at the Monster House. Short of taking daily video of Logan singing "Da da da da dalalalalalalalalala!" at the top of his lungs every time he hears "I'm Gonna Be (500 Miles)" by The Proclaimers and posting it here, what more am I supposed to do? Video of Logan on the sit 'n' spin every. single. day. in the middle of my kitchen floor for hours at a time? Yeah.. not gonna happen. Sorry 'bout that.
So, bring on the insults. Bring on the guilt. Bring on all the things that you're supposed to say when you encounter a non-conformist, if you must. I can handle it. I may respond with, "Can't we all just get along?!" But what I won't do is engage in a huge debate about why you're right and I'm wrong. Because it just isn't true. Your choices are right for you, and ours are right for us. And guess what? Neither of us are wrong. We're just doing things.. differently. May the force be with you.
oranges and a lime image by google images via hisdancingleg.com